雅思写作高分范文
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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, the excessive consumption of sugary products has become a significant public health concern. Some argue that increasing the price of these products would effectively reduce sugar intake by discouraging consumers from purchasing them. I agree with this viewpoint, as higher prices could serve as a deterrent1, while additional measures could further reinforce this strategy.
Firstly, economic theory suggests that increasing the price of sugary products will decrease demand. When sugary products become more expensive, consumers are likely to reconsider their purchasing habits2, opting instead for healthier alternatives3. This price mechanism has been successfully applied in other contexts, such as tobacco products, where higher taxes have led to reduced consumption. Similarly, if sugary products were taxed more heavily, consumers might be less inclined to buy them frequently, thereby reducing their overall sugar intake.
Moreover, the revenue generated from increased taxes on sugary products could be invested in public health initiatives4. For instance, these funds could support educational campaigns that raise awareness about the dangers of excessive sugar consumption and promote healthier lifestyle choices. Such initiatives could empower individuals with the knowledge they need to make informed dietary decisions.
However, it is important to recognize that pricing alone may not suffice5 to change ingrained consumer behaviors. Therefore, it should be part of a multifaceted approach that includes stronger regulations on marketing and clearer labeling6 of nutritional information. By combining these strategies with higher prices, consumers are more likely to be dissuaded from purchasing sugary products and encouraged to choose healthier options.
In conclusion, making sugary products more expensive could effectively reduce sugar consumption by altering consumer behavior. Nonetheless, this approach should be complemented by educational and regulatory measures to ensure a comprehensive strategy in tackling the health issues associated with high sugar intake.
容易答偏：题目问的是是否应把含糖产品定得更贵，以鼓励少摄入糖；重点是评价价格手段是否有效、是否值得采用。不能只泛泛谈糖的危害，也不必把文章写成单纯的健康宣传。
范文明确同意提高价格能抑制购买和糖分摄入，但认为教育、营销监管和营养标签必须配套。
任务回应
I agree with this viewpoint
开头不回避立场，结尾也坚持“提价有效但需配套”的判断。主体既解释价格如何影响购买，又说明税收用途和补充政策，始终围绕题目的政策主张展开。
连贯与衔接
Firstly
五段安排清楚：先提出同意理由，再补充税收收入的用途，随后承认单靠定价的局限。第三个主体段的让步使论证不是单向断言，结论也能自然收束。
词汇
a deterrent
这里把高价概括为一种“威慑”，比反复说价格高更准确。文中还用“public health initiatives”“informed dietary decisions”等表达，把经济政策、健康教育和个人选择连起来。
语法
When sugary products become more expensive, consumers are likely to reconsider their purchasing habits, opting instead for healthier alternatives.
这句话先交代价格上涨的条件，再写消费者的可能反应；末尾补充其具体选择。信息按“原因—行为—结果”展开，适合服务本段的因果论证。
第四段最后一句存在逻辑主语不清的问题：开头的“By combining these strategies with higher prices”实际应由政府或政策制定者来执行，但主句主语却是“consumers”。此外，烟草的例子只作概括类比，没有进一步说明含糖产品与烟草在需求变化上的差异，证据力度较一般。
编号对应上面范文里的下划线。换成你自己的话题和例子，不要照搬。
1serve as a deterrent
概括某项政策如何降低人们采取某种行为的意愿。
换成你的：换成你的政策和行为，例如说明限制广告、提高成本或处罚如何让消费者或企业减少某行为。
2reconsider their purchasing habits
把“价格变高”具体落实为消费者重新考虑购买。
换成你的：可换成自己的行为对象，如出行方式、能源使用或一次性产品购买。
3healthier alternatives
说明限制一种选择后，人们可能转向什么替代选择。
换成你的：按题目换成公共交通、可重复使用产品或其他更合适的替代方案。
4public health initiatives
承接税收收入的去向，说明政策不只是收费。
换成你的：换成教育、医疗、社区服务或环保项目，并说明资金怎样产生后续效果。
5pricing alone may not suffice
承认单一政策的边界，为提出配套方案铺垫。
换成你的：换成题目中的单一措施，如立法、宣传或技术投资，再补上其不能单独解决的问题。
6clearer labeling
给“配套措施”一个具体做法，使建议不空泛。
换成你的：根据话题换成信息公开、使用说明、风险提示或透明标准。
用 When 引出条件，主句写反应，末尾用补充动作说明消费者会怎样选择。
When sugary products become more expensive, consumers are likely to reconsider their purchasing habits, opting instead for healthier alternatives.
这句的补充动作“opting”指向前面的“consumers”，逻辑上是通顺的：消费者重新考虑购买习惯，并转而选择更健康的替代品。写作时，末尾这种补充动作一定要能由主句主语实际完成；不要写成政策由消费者执行。
近年来，过量消费含糖产品已成为一个重大公共健康问题。有些人认为，提高这些产品的价格可以有效减少糖的摄入，因为这会阻止消费者购买。我同意这一观点，因为更高的价格可以作为一种威慑，同时还可以采取其他措施来进一步加强这一策略。
首先，经济理论表明，提高含糖产品的价格将减少需求。当含糖产品变得更贵时，消费者可能会重新考虑他们的购买习惯，转而选择更健康的替代品。这种价格机制在其他情况下已被成功应用，例如烟草产品，通过增加税收来减少消费。同样，如果含糖产品的税收更重，消费者可能不太愿意频繁购买，从而减少他们的总体糖摄入量。
此外，通过增加含糖产品的税收所产生的收入可以用于公共健康项目。例如，这些资金可以支持教育宣传活动，提高人们对过量摄入糖的危险的认识，并促进更健康的生活方式选择。这样的举措可以使个体获得做出明智饮食决策所需的知识。
然而，重要的是要认识到，仅仅依靠价格可能不足以改变根深蒂固的消费习惯。因此，它应该是一个多方面策略的一部分，包括更严格的营销监管和更清晰的营养信息标识。通过将这些策略与更高的价格相结合，消费者更有可能被劝阻购买含糖产品，并被鼓励选择更健康的选项。
总之，提高含糖产品的价格可以通过改变消费者行为有效减少糖的摄入。然而，这一策略应辅以教育和监管措施，以确保全面应对高糖摄入相关的健康问题。