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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The debate about the key determinants of success in life is a longstanding one, with some attributing it to hard work and determination, while others argue that factors such as money and appearance play a more critical role. Both perspectives present valid arguments and merit consideration.
On one hand, hard work and determination are often seen as the cornerstones of success1. These qualities are universally acknowledged as vital because they drive individuals to persevere in the face of adversity2 and overcome obstacles. For instance, many renowned personalities, such as Oprah Winfrey, have attributed their success to their relentless work ethic and unwavering determination. These traits enable individuals to acquire skills, gain experience, and ultimately achieve their goals. Furthermore, hard work and determination instill a sense of discipline and resilience, which are indispensable in any endeavor.
On the other hand, some argue that factors like money and appearance can significantly influence one's success. Money, for instance, provides access to better education, resources, and opportunities3, which can give individuals a substantial advantage over others. Similarly, appearance can affect how individuals are perceived, impacting their social interactions and professional relationships. In industries such as entertainment or fashion, where first impressions and visual appeal4 are paramount, appearance can undeniably play a pivotal role in determining success.
In my opinion, while money and appearance can indeed provide advantages, they are not sufficient on their own5 to guarantee success. Hard work and determination are more sustainable qualities because they foster continuous personal growth and adaptation to changing circumstances. Moreover, individuals who rely solely on money or appearance may find their success short-lived if they lack the work ethic and determination to maintain and build upon their achievements6.
In conclusion, while money and appearance can influence success, they should not overshadow the fundamental importance of hard work and determination. These core qualities not only lead to personal and professional achievements but also contribute to a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
容易答偏：题目不是让你列举所有成功因素，也不宜只说“每个人定义不同”。必须公平解释两方为何有道理，再清楚比较它们对长期成功的作用，最后给出自己的取舍。
范文认为金钱和外貌能带来起点优势，但努力与决心更可持续，因而对成功更根本。
任务回应
Both perspectives present valid arguments and merit consideration.
开头没有急着否定任一方，随后两个主体段各自解释其作用，第四段再表态，完整覆盖了“讨论双方并给出观点”的三项任务。
连贯与衔接
On the other hand
文章按“努力与决心—金钱与外貌—个人判断—结论”推进。主体二的转折清楚，第四段用比较把前两段材料收回到自己的立场。
词汇
a substantial advantage
这类表达准确服务论证：金钱不是直接等于成功，而是带来明显优势。全文还围绕教育、资源、机会等具体渠道展开，词语和观点是一致的。
语法
individuals who rely solely on money or appearance may find their success short-lived
这句话用条件和结果表达因果：如果只依赖外在条件，成功可能难以持久。它不是单纯喊口号，而是在支撑“努力更可持续”的判断。
例子只提到一位名人，且“attributed their success”只是归因说法，未具体展示其如何克服困难。外貌部分主要适用于娱乐、时尚等行业，范文虽有说明，却没有进一步比较它在普通职业中的影响，因此论证略显概括。结论加入“more meaningful and fulfilling life”，比题目所问的成功因素稍微多走了一步。
编号对应上面范文里的下划线。换成你自己的话题和例子，不要照搬。
1the cornerstones of success
把努力和决心定位为成功的基础，而非普通优点。
换成你的：可换成你题目中的核心条件，如教育、经验或政府监管，但要确保后文能解释为何它是基础。
2persevere in the face of adversity
具体说明努力如何在困难中发挥作用。
换成你的：换成自己的障碍，如资金不足、学习挫折或就业竞争，并补上坚持后带来的能力提升。
3access to better education, resources, and opportunities
把“钱重要”拆成教育、资源和机会三条因果链。
换成你的：讨论家庭背景或公共投入时，可替换成相应的具体资源，避免只写“钱能解决问题”。
4first impressions and visual appeal
限定外貌在哪些情境会影响评价，避免夸大到所有行业。
换成你的：换成招聘、销售或公众职业等明确场景，并说明它影响的是起步机会还是长期表现。
5not sufficient on their own
承认对方因素有效，同时指出它不能单独决定结果，为自己的比较立场留出空间。
换成你的：讨论任何利弊或因素比较题时，可把对象换成技术、政策、天赋等，再说明其限制。
6maintain and build upon their achievements
把“获得成功”和“维持成功”区分开，形成更有层次的比较标准。
换成你的：可用于职业、教育或企业话题：先得到机会不等于能长期保住成果。
主句先下比较判断，再用 because 补出原因。
Hard work and determination are more sustainable qualities because they foster continuous personal growth and adaptation to changing circumstances.
这句适合用在“我的观点”段：先明确谁更重要，再立刻回答“为什么”。后半句没有重复说“努力很好”，而是落到持续成长和适应变化两个标准，所以能与金钱、外貌带来的短期优势形成有效对比。写自己的作文时，原因必须和题目因素对应。
关于成功的关键决定因素的争论由来已久，有人认为成功来自于努力工作和决心，而另一些人则认为金钱和外表等因素更为重要。这两种观点都有其合理之处，值得考虑。
一方面，努力工作和决心常被视为成功的基石。这些品质被普遍认为是至关重要的，因为它们驱动个人在逆境中坚持不懈并克服障碍。例如，许多知名人士，如奥普拉·温弗瑞，将他们的成功归功于他们不懈的工作态度和坚定的决心。这些特质使个人能够获得技能、积累经验，并最终实现目标。此外，努力工作和决心培养了一种纪律性和韧性，这在任何事业中都是不可或缺的。
另一方面，有些人认为金钱和外表等因素可以显著影响一个人的成功。例如，金钱提供了更好的教育、资源和机会，使个人获得比他人更大的优势。类似地，外表可以影响人们的感知，从而影响他们的社交互动和职业关系。在娱乐或时尚等行业中，第一印象和视觉吸引力至关重要，外表无疑可以在决定成功中起到关键作用。
在我看来，虽然金钱和外表的确可以提供优势，但它们自身并不足以保证成功。努力工作和决心是更可持续的品质，因为它们促进个人持续成长并适应变化的环境。此外，单纯依靠金钱或外表的人如果缺乏工作态度和决心来维持和提升他们的成就，可能会发现自己的成功是短暂的。
总之，虽然金钱和外表可以影响成功，但它们不应掩盖努力工作和决心的重要性。这些核心品质不仅能带来个人和职业成就，还能促成更有意义和充实的人生。